Slightly disturbed at horizontal massing, so reconfigure entire form down the pub. Neogen also sharpens the appetite. Where do you think you are, some trippy 1970s sci-fi cartoon?Idiots. It’s the perfect gas, so much better than micro-organic methane. Have your say
You must sign in to make a comment. As well as being Wi-Fi enabled, capable of producing clean electricity and self-aware without being completely ‘up itself’, it doesn’t smell of amoeba farts.FRIDAY Push skateboarding forward yet again by allowing the transgressive nature of ‘street skating’ to shape the municipal skate park I’m designing in full compliance with health and safety. It’s an inspiring thought that neogen may serve the arts in this way. Low Fidelity Cultural Reconciliation 0, High Linear Equity Boosterism 2.SUNDAY Spatial contemplation in the recliner. The Creative on Sunday has been named Magazine of the Year by the Epic Spatialist Association.Worse, Darcy Farquear’say and his appalling dachshund Bauhau have jointly won Architectural Writer of the Year for their stupid Woof Over Your Head column, in which Darcy giggles about some new building, pretending to be Bauhau. You’ve got a limited amount of time before someone nicks your idea and makes a fortune.That’s why I’m helping my mate Beansy the nanofuturologist to finalise some deals quickly to exploit neogen – the intelligent self-replicating supergas that’s better than oxygen and can bend the laws of physics.Neogen autosynthesises so fast that an asthma inhaler’s worth can fill the Louvre in 20 minutes. That obviously makes it ‘lamer’ so I put in some landmines, but that will mean it’s STRICTLY NO ADMITTANCE so they’ll have to break-and-enter ‘streetwise’. Another’s been on Top Gear.TUESDAY All Soho is braced for a week of preening insufferability. Ian Martin gets to grips with sprialling housing costs
MONDAY Design a new agnostic contemplation space for a major retail destination centre, in a certain Arab state that wishes to remain anonymous. Wake up, Japanese innovators. This will significantly enhance the visitor experience, as ruins are known to amplify musings about the human spirit triumphing over the melancholy of an unreachable past.To be honest, the user experience isn’t a major factor. As ever, attack is the best form of defence, which is why we’re nicking their inhabited spiral idea and filling it with neogen. All Bauhau has to do is remain continent while his picture’s taken.Just looking at them in their matchy-matchy hip-hop lamé coatigans makes me want to heave. And where better than in an injection-moulded Gothic space flooded with natural light and artificial air.After it’s built, half the contemplation space will be deliberately ruined by professional devastators. I hope everyone’s happy.SATURDAY Five-a-zeitgeist theoretical football. Thieving bastard copycats. I’ve gone for injection-moulded Gothic, which OK is double the average person’s retro calorie intake, but if you can’t comfort-gaze in a shopping centre, what’s the point of life?